Okay so this one is different, there’s a bit of pidgin (a lot actually) and that’s a problem because it’s not standardized (spelling and all that) and secondly the style switches up from locale to locale in Nigeria, as always enjoy, let me know what you think
INT. SKINNY’S ROOM. NIGHT
Skinny sits in front of his desk, his laptop set up with an editing program running. His hand rummages through his bag and emerges with a hard drive. Skinny is humming an indecipherable tune as he plugs the hard drive to his system.
(Hums indecipherable tune)
Skinny stops, he removes the glasses perched on his nose and dives into his bag propped against one leg of his chair. He unearths a transparent nylon containing ground leaves of some sort. Skinny lays out the leaves on the desk beside his laptop, pauses to look at his computer. A few keystrokes later, he returns to lay out the leaves beside a flattened piece of paper.
A phone rings offscreen. Skinny picks it up, his hand temporarily dislodging the leaves and the piece of paper as he bends to unearth the phone from his bag on the floor
(into the phone)
Na who be this?
(over the phone)
You don dey mad small small ba? Where you dey? Jay X say make I halla you say when the video go ready?
E go ready when e ready. Tell am like that
(OVER THE PHONE)
See me see trouble O! Wetin dey boil your blood so? E be like say you dey ontop woman so, make I kuku leave you. Abi you don even finish sef (laughs hysterically)
Skinny ends the call and immediately heads back to his desk.
He scoops the leaves carefully back into it’s spot on his desk with one hand as the other holds his mobile phone with the flashlight turned on.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The sounds startles Skinny who shouts hurriedly
WHO BE THAT!
Skinny na me. You dey house?
The lock turns just as the person inquires of Skinny. Skinny races to block him at the door.
(Slams into door, holding it halfway shut)
No, I no dey, wetin you want Jide?
I want charge
E be you like say my gen dey on?
Eh your laptop nko?
Na your village people cooperative I use buy am? See ehn, before I close my eyes, open am, close am then open am finally, leave my domot!
Eh wetin you come dey do as light no dey? Abi, babe dey there?
Skinny nods in a conspiratorially way and Jide smiles excited. He motions for him to be allowed a peek. Skinny puts his hand to his lips, indicating silence and pulls the door all the way back, opening it wide, then beckons Jide to come in. Jide has barely made it in when the door is forcefully slammed in his face, nearly hitting him square
YOU DEY MAD! You want wound me?
Skinny returns to his desk and resumes his ritual while Jide can be heard cursing outside
Na wa O. Person no fit smoke in thing make them no disturb am?
Skinny resumes humming, and carefully places the leaves on the laid out paper. He rolls it up quickly and applies saliva to the rim of the paper to make it stick but it doesn’t. He tries a second time but it still doesn’t stick. Skinny gets up from his chair and exits the screen.
He returns bearing a stapler in his hands and proceeds to staple with unlikely force the errant side of paper to hold his joint together.
Skinny tentatively picks up a lighter and turning it on, he brings it close to the joint.
His hand twitches and the lighter goes off. He tries hesitantly again and fails. Joint in mouth, Skinny takes a deep breath and lights the joint.
He inhales sharply.
(Spins in his seat, arms flailing)
The room blackens as Skinny falls off his seat accompanied by the sound of various nearby parap
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. SKINNY’S ROOM. DAWN
Skinny’s hand, holding his hard drive, is immersed in a bucket of water while Skinny lies wasted on his chair.
Skinny comes to, first pulling his hand out of the bucket and noticing it is wet. He then looks around him, aside from his unusual sitting position, his room seems okay. He takes a look at the bucket to find a hard drive immersed in water.
(Hands on his head)
Oh no, Oh no, shit, shit shit!! Hay, my life!
Skinny’s wailings are loud enough to attract attention
SKINNY’S MOM (offscreen)
Chukwudife! What is happening in yua room?
SKINNY’S MOM (OFFSCREEN)
Why are you now shouting shit shit shit. Abi you shit while you are sleeping?
Mommy leave me I’m fine.
SKINNY’S MOM (OFFSCREEN)
Ok Oh. Sha I don’t have money for any nonsense that you want to do again this time.
Skinny rummages through his bag, finds the rest of the herbs he smoked the night before and carefully ties then up. Balling them up in his hands, he leaves the room in his boxers.
SKINNY (OFF SCREEN)
MAMA I’VE GONE TO STUDIO OH.
The door opens and Skinny walks in, picks up his backpack, puts on a shirt lying carelessly around and leaves.
INT. MUSIC STUDIO. DAY
Gingah is nodding his head as his fingers move over a mixing console when suddenly the door bursts open.
Skinny, dressed in shirts and a boxer short rushes into the room.
Gingah doesn’t notice as he keeps nodding, face fixed towards the computer screen
Skinny taps Gingah but Gibgah barely looks up, instead he gestures towards Skinny to come back later. Skinny pulls on the rubber band on Gingah’s wrist and lets it snap. Gingah flinches wildly.
You dey mad ni?
(Notices Skinny has only his boxers covering his lower half)
Wait, you dey mad true true?
Skinny throws the nylon he’d been clutching over Gingah’s console
Eh, wetin be this?
Gingah opens it while waiting for Skinny’s answer.
Erm, Skinny, na the thing wey you think say I dey think say e be na im be this wey dey my front so?
You use am?
So? I no get, wetin come happen? The thing help you finish the work?
You no see as I be? Just one, Gingah, just one like this (mimics taking a drag) na im i useless. I wake up come see day my hard drive wey Jay X video wey I never even edit come dey inside water.
(Begins to Panic)
Gingah, I don die, where money wey I go use shoot him video back, or to even begin repair the drive.
(Stares strangely at Skinny)
GINGAH puts his hand and picks some of the leaves and crumples them in the palm of his other hand. Raising his palm to eye level, he scrutinizes the material further, arching his head to look at a bewildered Skinny.
This thing Skinny?
(Takes a piece of the herb and chews voraciously)
Use me dey laugh na, no be my fault say I no be smoker like you.
No be kpoli be this guy, na bitter leaf be this.
Gingah tosses the small bits of herb on his palm away, beside the incriminating bag of supposed marijuana
But, wetin come, why I come….?
There is a loud knock on the main door to the studio.
JAY X (OFFSCREEN)
(poorly effected foreign accent)
Gingah, nigga are you in there, Open up bro.
Skinny looks like he’s just heard a ghost come calling